As I was taking the subway home from work today, I saw something that restored a little of my faith in Chinese parenting. I have long held a grudge toward Chinese parents after seeing a mother almost strangle her daughter, just in an attempt to make her stop crying on the subway once before. I stood up and confronted her, and my reward was a slap in the face. You can read more about that incident here.
What I saw today, restored a little of my faith in Chinese parenting.
It is only a few days ago a saw a video online, of a Chinese grandmother abusing her daughter, supposedly because she accidentally peed in her pants. These things happen with young children, and it’s really nothing to get upset or abusive about. But even though child abuse is illegal in China, you will be hard pressed to find someone who would ever stand up to the abuse and even the police will often say, that there is nothing they can (read will) do. Having been raised in a family myself where I was never abused in any way, physical or mental, I find it hard to believe that someone would ever do that to their child. You are supposed to love them, with all of your heart, and that goes for grandchildren, too.
Today, I saw a young man with an older lady (his mother or relative, I am sure) and a little girl, maybe aged three or four. The little girl was very upset, screaming, crawling on the floor, crying her lungs out. And while I did, at one moment, see the (supposed) grandmother gently hit the butt of this little girl, it wasn’t at all very hard and after that, she was patiently holding her, trying to make her calm down, telling her that everything was okay and not getting upset when the girl broke loose and continued to cry and scream. I did not take a picture, as I do not want to put people in a bad position by photographing them like that, in such a situation, but I wish I had because all of sudden, the woman picks up the little girl, looks her in the eye and says something that I didn’t hear, and the little girl stopped crying and smiled. From then on, everything was fine, 15 minutes of crying suddenly ended by a moment of what I can only guess was love and understanding. I don’t know what she said or did, but she was patient, loving and persistent, and she got through it without violently hitting her daughter or in any other way abusing her, I am not going to count that little butt slap that she probably didn’t even feel.
It made me happy to see. Reminded me, that not all parents in China are as bad as some of the examples I have seen, and still see.