… you are just sleeping with all the bad apples.

If you search on the Internet for almost anything related to Chinese girls and relationships or sex, you’re bound to come across some self-proclaimed expert, like the one above, typically a westerner, who will tell you that Chinese girls are cheap and that they will sleep with you just for being a foreigner. They will even go on to tell you how many Chinese girls they hook up with each week and they’ll share what you need to know or say to be able to bang your way across China, Saying that Chinese girls are cheap or easy is both sexist, degrading and objectifying and it is, in my experience, very far from the truth. There is surely a sexual revolution going on in China, and yes, more and more girls are having sex before they get married. So what? That doesn’t mean they are sleeping with everyone, it just means that they have realized the importance of sex in a relationship and are willing to look for a partner who is also sexually compatible. Western girls do that too right? If you go into detail with these videos, the guys will often tell you that you can find these easy girls in bars, in streets, and other places that western people frequent. Wow, what a coincidence, that if you go where all the girls are, who are actively looking for foreign guys to hook up with, you might actually see one of them. Amazing. Think about this, when you go a bar or a club we can agree that you will find a certain percentage of girls who are either looking for a relationship or just looking for a one-night-stand. In almost any country this will be true. Denmark is a prime example of this. Why should China be any different? The girls who go to bars, and clubs are also likely looking for “fun” just like everyone else. But what about all those who never go to the clubs? I have lived in Beijing, I have visited Shanghai and I went to nightclubs in both places. And yes, the girls I met in there were more than twice as likely to go home with me than other girls. Because the girls here are actively looking for foreign guys, in places where foreign guys hang out the most. I am not particularly handsome, and I was able to chat up some of the girls that, back in Denmark, would make me king of the hook-ups. It just so happens that meaningless sex is, well, meaningless to me, so I never went any further than talking. And guess what, once they found out, they usually left and found another foreigner. What westerners don’t always realize is that as much as they want to fool around with the pretty locals, the girls have just as many hidden agendas as you buy them drinks. These girls like shiny things,  and I assure you they have their share of bling from the other foreign guys. Some of the girls just want to try a foreigner, see if we do better or worse in bed than a Chinese man, and the ones who fall in love with you, either know that you have twice the monthly salary of most Chinese guys or they are hanging around for a possible green card to your home country. Now, I am not saying that every Chinese girl who goes to a bar, is looking for some Western action. There are plenty of girls who go to bars just to hang out with their friends or enjoy the music. These girls will also likely leave you alone. They might check you out at a distance though. I also need to clarify that not every girl who talks to you is trying to get in your pants. Many Chinese people would really like a Western friend, and it can be easy to confuse Chinese hospitality with affection. God knows, I made that mistake. Chinese treat their friends very well, and if your friend is a girl it can be easy to think she is hitting on you, when really she is just being a nice friend. When I first came to China, it happened to me, and I was sure this girl was into me. She would ask me out for dinner, come to my apartment to hang out and play games. We talked almost every day. When I finally asked her if she had any feelings for me, she was surprised that I even thought so. Apart from Beijing and Shanghai, I lived in a smaller city called Luoyang. And while every place will have girls who are chasing you, Luoyang was especially full of very modest girls. They dress very well, they act very nicely and they get shy just talking about kissing. I’m not saying they are impossible to hook up with, but I am saying you have to prove yourself to them. And even then,  many won’t sleep with you until after you get married and to get them, you also have to win over the parents, which is going to be a tough fight. You would see girls dressing in a way that we in the west would consider sexy. Very short shorts, slightly unbuttoned blouse, mini skirts or showing their stomach, however most places in China, this is not considered to be sexy, it is just cute and how a young girl dresses. But you’ll also find a lot of girls who dress very modestly and hardly show any skin at all. I like girls, who are not fooling around, sleeping with everyone. I think it was a big factor for me, in moving away from Denmark. Not all Danish girls are like this, but I have met and known a fair share of girls who were all about going out, hitting it off with a guy for a single night or having “friends with benefits”. And that’s fine, to each their own. It just doesn’t work for me. My current girlfriend is Chinese, and she is in no way an “easy” girl. I love her, I love her modesty, how she doesn’t have to show herself off, how she still retains traditional values that we western people have long since forgotten. We are culturally different people and I think that is what makes our relationship interesting. That being said, it is not like I claim to have the only girl who is like this. In fact, the majority of Chinese girls I know, are the same way. They would never sleep with anyone, just for fun. So, when someone tells you, that Chinese girls are easy, think again and consider what kind of girls are easy, because they also exist in your home country.